


AITA for asking my friend for something I’m… allergic to?

by discorporating



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: (at the end) - Freeform, Attempt at Humor, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Drunk Crowley (Good Omens), Humor, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Pining, Post-Scene: St James's Park 1862 (Good Omens), Relationship Advice, Scene: St James's Park 1862 (Good Omens), So..., Social Media, Stream of Consciousness, written as a reddit post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 02:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discorporating/pseuds/discorporating
Summary: The year is 2016, and while Crowley and Aziraphale have long since made up, Crowley is still slightly bitter about the fight of 1862. When Warlock gets into a petty argument at school with his best friend, Crowley is reminded of what happened with him and Aziraphale all those years ago. He wants to prove to Aziraphale that he was in the right, but he can’t exactly tell anyone about what happened.Unless… he told the internet. Yes, that seems like a great idea.Aka: A drunken Crowley tries reddit and makes an Am I the Asshole post.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Warlock Dowling
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66
Collections: Humorous Omens





	AITA for asking my friend for something I’m… allergic to?

**AITA for asking my friend for something I’m… allergic to?**

_u/666SerpentOfEden_

Right. I dunno why I’m doing this but here goes. My, uh, ‘friend’ and I have known each other forever, literally. Or figuratively. Gah, I don’t know. I can practically hear his tutting in my ear. He would look so disappointed that I don’t know how to right.

Wirte.

WIRTE.

WRITE.

Sorry, m’a bit drunk.

Anyways, we have… enemies. Well, I have enemies, I can’t imagine anyone hating him. He’s so wonderful, in fact I’ve been in lo

No. Don’t go there. Um, back to the issue… my ‘enemies’ are actually kinda my family, like my relatives I suppose, not that I love them or anything. They’re also my… coworkers ? Yes, that works. So, my enemies are also my coworkers, and my family, and I suppose you can say my boss is like my dad though that’s opening a whole other can of worms, and I don’t actually have parents anyway so I don’t know what I’m saying, well maybe I have a Mother I’m not exactly sure at the moment… 

Um. Sorry, went off track there. What I meant to say is that my enemies/coworkers/relatives always tell me to do bad things, and when I don’t do them, they threaten me, and there’s a real fear that they’re gonna kill me if I pull off my plan to stop the end of the world. Plus, you know, if they figured out my relationship with my friend, we would both be dead, which I don’t mind for myself very much but if they touch a hair on him there’ll be hell to pay /haha… oh right you redditors don’t get the joke/

Naturally, I want insurance, you know, a defense mechanism in case something bad happens. Cause like, I don’t really wanna die?

Since my enemies and I are all… related, we share the same… allergy. It’s a deadly allergy and we can’t even touch the thing we’re allergic to without dying, but my friend, he actually gets healthier the more he touches it. It’s weird. Well, since I can’t touch it, but I want to use it to defend myself, I asked my friend to give me it in a closed container. I thought I was being pretty obvious that I wanted to use it for self-defense, but he misinterpreted me and flipped out! He told me he wasn’t giving me a suicide pill! But I didn’t want to kill myself!

He didn’t care and we stopped talking for years and years and years, we talk now of course and raise a child together but when our godson got into a fight with his best friend this whole thing was brought up again and now I’m here. So, reddit, am I the asshole?

  
  


**Comments**

_u/shadthechad:_ INFO: What the actual FUCK? Do you want me to call the police? Are you on drugs? _  
u/666SerpentofEden_ why, are you buying?  
_u/shadthechad:_ ...I’m reporting u to the mods hope they ban you fucking troll   
_u/666SerpentofEden_ m’ not a troll, I’m a demon

_u/bowdowtome_ INFO: do you know how to click backspace? It’s like you vomited words onto this thing. Also, I’m confused af, you must be trolling us.  
_u/666SerpentofEden_ it’s all real… well, sorta.   
_u/666SerpentofEden_ also WHAT theres backspace????

 _  
u/jesus283_ I’m very confused, and pretty sure this is a very bad troll, but from the info you gave I guess I’ll say NTA? Though maybe you should’ve explained it to him better.  
_u/666SerpentofEden_ I met Jesus. He was a cool guy.  
_u/jesus293_ okay, I agree with u/shadthechad, you’re definitely high on something…

 _  
u/asifeuwu_ INFO: So your dad is your boss, your siblings are your coworkers, and they all want you to commit crimes? Am I reading that right? Also what’s this about stopping the end of the world? Also also, why does your family hate your best friend so much? Why are you raising a child together? If you’re going to troll us at least keep your story straight!  
_u/666SerpentofEden_ how many times do I have to tell you humans?! I’m not trolling, I genuinely want advice. To answer your questions, yeah, I suppose they want me to commit crimes. We’re raising my boss’s actual son, Warlock, who is supposed to bring about the apocalypse, something we don’t want to happen but they do. They hate my friend because he’s too good for them, he’s an angel and we’re all demons.  
u/666SerpentofEden I mean… in a figurative way. A symbolism way. Regardless, it’s why we can’t openly hang out.   
_u/asifeuwu_ you’re raising your brother? Also, since you obviously love your friend so much, why don’t you confess?   
_u/666SerpentofEden_ He doesn’t love me back! I can’t… I can’t ruin what we have. No matter how I feel.  
_u/666SerpentofEden_ ugh, this was a bad idea. Fuck it, I’m done.

**_[this post has been deleted]_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I still believe that Aziraphale also loves Crowley... so maybe our resident demon isn’t so hopeless after all.
> 
> I know the tone for this fic is a quite different, but as someone who only has a reddit account and no other social media, I had to ‘honor’ that somehow lol. Find me on reddit, u/discorporating. Anyway, hope you enjoy even if you don’t know what reddit is like.


End file.
